Epilogue
by Fairyfootfalls
Summary: What becomes of Artemis after his "Resurrection" so to speak. It's rated T just in case but i don't think there is much "T rated-ness" in it as of now. A/H Please R&R for updates w/o reviews this writer of yours gets lazy...


Artemis Fowl sat in his office thinking over everything that had happened since his "resurrection".

He was now 21 years old, technically; all that had happened was the magic from the time stream had kicked in and he had gotten the years he'd lost back in limbo. Add that to the fact that this was Foaly's (nay-the world's) first attempt at bringing someone back from the dead.

There were complications, to say the least, which was why Artemis was now a few years older than he was supposed to be.

However, it was a pretty near exact, if not completely, copy of the old Artemis. Aside from his age and the fact that he no longer had one of Holly's eyes, Artemis felt fine, though his friends still had him go to therapy sessions to make sure he was really back to them. It really was quite hard to believe, even for those who were close to Artemis and had learned never to be surprised.

"There are things at work here, Artemis, great magic that even I don't fully understand," Foaly had said the last time Artemis went down for one of his "sessions".

"Yes, I know. I had a theory on that a little bit before my untimely demise," Artemis had replied.

"Then I suppose you also have an understanding of Opal's equation?" asked Foaly hesitantly.

This was a soft spot for him; he still couldn't believe that Koboi had outsmarted him. Still denied it, in fact.

"Oh yes," said Artemis. "Believe it or not she supplied me with that herself."

"She did?" said the centaur, clearly surprised.

"Yes, right before she was about to kill me, she laid out her master plan," Artemis answered. "I thought it was a bit cliché myself, but I suppose she couldn't help it."

"No, of course not," snorted Foaly.

"All I did was add another negative variable to the mix…" Artemis began before Foaly interrupted him.

"Which then in turn resulted in a positive!" Foaly completed.

"Precisely," said Artemis.

It was a sign of maturity and his respect for the centaur's intelligence that he restrained himself to merely a smug grin instead of giving a complete lecture. He may have learned something from dying after all.

"But for some reason, Artemis, I feel like you're not telling me everything," Foaly confessed.

"Come now, old friend, after all we've been through you still don't trust me?" said Artemis, sounding hurt.

"Oh, I trust you, Artemis I just feel there's more to the story, there always is when you're involved. Such as this equation we both know that all this was just in theory,_ right?_" Foaly said, raising an eyebrow.

"No need to get high strung, Foaly, it was simply a theory, nothing more," lied Artemis, with no trace of hesitation.

"Fine then, don't tell me!" Foaly pouted.

Artemis shook his head. "There is nothing to tell, and please stop with the pouting, Foaly. A toddler's expression does not belong on a technologically literate centaur's face."

Foaly let it go with a short "alright then." Artemis Fowl always placed his cards sparingly. Always had, always would.

So he just contented himself by saying, "alright, Artemis, but when you've unlocked whatever forces are at work here, by which I mean when you're ready to _tell_ me about the forces you've unlocked, I don't want any games, Mudboy."

"Fair enough," said Artemis looking sheepish (was it possible?!). Well, it was as close to sheepishness as Artemis's features would let him.

Well Artemis was about to lay all cards on the table, a move he knew would result in him losing. He was so sure he would lose that he was willing to bet his last gold coin on it (metaphorically speaking, of course). Yet, he was going to play the game anyway, because if there was even the slightest possible chance of his winning, he was going to play. And there was a chance (not a chance worth betting his last gold coin on) but still a chance.

So, as Artemis prepared to place all cards on the table, he thought back to when his conscience had finally escaped eternity. Holly had been in the process of telling him their preparations before the goblin rebellion when he had asked for water. So, Butler handed him a glass.

"It tastes different," Artemis had said. "Not bad, just different."

Holly had decided to go for a complete quote seeing as Artemis had just uttered one.

"Yeah, you wouldn't believe what Foaly had to do to-…" she trailed off.

"-To purge the mudman from it," finished Artemis and with that, he was back.

Everything clicked, The goblin rebellion, the kidnapping, the eternity cube, Root's murder, going to Limbo, traveling through time (though there was something in that memory that seemed to hit the hardest, he continued on this passage through his memories), the fours in Atlantis, the idiot Orion, the clone, the troll-rider, his death. Artemis Fowl was back. His friends saw the unfamiliar look of emptiness on his face replace itself with an equally unfamiliar look of surprise, very impressed surprise.

"So, you managed, it my four legged friend," said Artemis, all at once imposing a superior tone.

However, before he could even begin to look smug, Holly flung herself at him, and proceeded to hit him.

It was a sign of how out of sorts Artemis's death had really put them that it took Butler two seconds before he lifted Holly off of Artemis and for Foaly to say in mock shocked tones, "Holly, that is not how we treat our formerly deceased friend!".

Nevertheless, an angry female elf captain could do plenty of damage in the two seconds allotted.

It was a show of self restraint that Holly didn't permanently maim Artemis, just gave him a few black eyes.

"That's for tricking me," she punched him. "And that's for dying fo-," Holly caught herself. "In place of me!" she finished.

"In this case, Artemis, I have to agree with the captain. Next time you plan on dying, please let us know beforehand," said Butler.

"And try not be so melodramatic next time, Mudboy, _please_," added Foaly. "To think I might have actually wasted my energy in sorrow till I got your message from Holly."

The centaur shook his head.

That's when Artemis had laid his first card down.

The books had been his idea, of course. Except for once, Artemis did not take all the credit; he simply planted a manuscript in the very messy and unorganized desk of a young, struggling author by the name of Eoin Colfer. Foaly and Artemis had collaborated in writing it and Butler and Holly sincerely wished that this Colfer guy could manage to salvage the story from between Foaly's tech talk and Artemis's explanations of his brilliant schemes. However, aside from that, the two geniuses did a fairly good job- Foaly's dramatic antics had finally come in handy. And thus was born a hero, a legend, and a fandom.

Currently, Artemis was busy doing something he didn't normally do. Our favorite criminal mastermind was pacing. Pacing and worrying- two things he prided himself on never doing. He was waiting for the arrival of someone very important. It was once the much awaited person arrived that he would finally lay all cards on the table, and he hoped—oh he hoped to St. Peter he won! This was another new thing: Artemis Fowl never before had wished on the unlikely whims of circumstance. Doing so usually left the one doing the wishing with a complete and utter lack of control. His inner monologue was interrupted when he noticed a vibration in the air outside the gates of Fowl manor. "Foaly must have gotten the shield back up and running again," thought Artemis.

Down in Tara, Captain Holly Short of the LEP was currently standing in front of the mirror surveying herself with satisfaction and a slightly amused smile. Earlier, she had received a strangely cryptic call from an old friend; Artemis always did have unusual instructions, the latest of which had required a clone of himself to be made.

Yet Holly still couldn't find any reason for why he had asked her to bring a glass jar with a plastic lid securely fastened on top. He had also asked if she was still interested in knowing why he had returned from eternity, especially to a world which needed rebuilding, whereas in eternity he would have had everything he wanted.

Why had he turned back at the pearly gates? He had re-quoted her question word for word. Still confused at this sudden urge of Artemis's to answer questions that in no way could be answered in a confusing factual lecture, she had said yes.

As she straightened her collar, she couldn't help but find the irony amusing. Here she was, wearing the very suit she had worn on her first visit to Fowl Manor (though visit wasn't what she would have called it at the time; kidnapping, more like it) because Foaly had sent this to her as a "reminder of old times," as he'd referred to it in the note.

Not being fooled by his melodrama, she ran to her closet and found her current uniform missing. Foaly had taken it for updates and, no doubt, was salvaging any technology that could be found on it since the "A.A." as Foaly and the other officers had begun to refer to it- the "Almost Apocalypse".

Artemis watched the shielded elf captain approach the gates of Fowl manor and waited for Butler's voice on the intercom to let him know that his fairy sensors had detected someone by the main entrance.

He was surprised, however, when Butler poked his head in through the door saying that Holly was on her way up.

Artemis raised his eyebrows, only to be answered by a voice that sounded oddly like that of a female elf captain saying, "Really, Butler, I wanted to have the element of surprise on my side," which caused Butler to give Artemis a look of, "You see?".

Entering the room, with Holly behind him, Butler gave the impression that he had no intention of leaving and crossed his arms.

It was at this point that Artemis put his first phase of the plan into action…

"BUTLER!" came the voice of a very frenzied, and almost choking, Myles. "Becket put me in a head lock again and he won't let me go!"

"Excuse me, Holly," said Butler apologetically to Holly and then, frowning, started yelling on his way out the door, "Becket, how many times have I told you not try wrestling moves on your brother…" and he trailed off.

Artemis and Holly waited till he was out of earshot before doubling over laughing.

"Butler seems to have found himself a new occupation," said Holly, raising her eyebrows.

"Yes, he says watching over my schemes was actually relaxing compared to watching them, and I have to say I must agree, they are cunning little devils," Artemis replied, smiling.

"I thought the deal was that Juliet would keep them occupied while you worked on re-building the world," Holly said.

"See, that's the thing with Juliet, she is very good at finding loopholes and since this deal was between her and Butler and _not _yours truly, she got away with it," said Artemis.

"Ah, I see," said Holly, nodding amusedly. The workings of Fowl Manor never ceased to amaze her.

"Now, let's get to the point. Artemis, why on earth have you called me up here? Specifically, asking me to bring a jar?" Holly asked, crossing her arms.

Artemis suddenly looked very preoccupied with something on one of his monitors. There was nothing on his monitor.

Holly smirked. "Dwarf in your pants, Mudboy?" she asked, which is the fairy equivalent of "cat got your tongue".

Artemis quickly rearranged his features to a superior expression. He held all the cards, if only for a moment.

Holly gave him a look that said, "I'm not impressed with that superior look of yours, Artemis. In fact, until you begin explaining, I don't care how you arrange your features, Mudboy." (Yes, Holly could say a lot with one look. It was one of her many talents).

"Curse those bewitching looks," thought Artemis clearing his throat. "Ahem."

"Could it be?" said Holly in mock surprise "Is Artemis Fowl, the greatest genius to grace our planet in _at least_ a century, be…no it can't be!..._stalling?!_"

"No," said Artemis, a vampire smile gracing his face. He had yet to use this expression on this newly formed face of his and he quite enjoyed the familiar feel of it. "I was simply contemplating which card to lay down first and now I have decided."

"Oh?" said Holly, slightly annoyed by his tone.

"Yes," said Artemis, walking over to a lab bench. "Place your jar here, please. I presume you have brought it with you, have you not?"

"Yeah, here," said Holly, pulling it out of the mini pack that Foaly had designed for her.

It was slightly old fashioned but this was an old suit. Foaly had designed these before the "Portacullas" had been invented and added to the suit. The "Portacullas" or PCL for short was a technology-based program that allowed the object one was carrying to go back to its former elements. The earliest form of an element any object ever is, of course, at a molecular level. This allowed the items to be carried alongside the fairy. It was actually made a part of the uniform, until needed. However, those had all been destroyed in the A.A. which was why Holly was now carrying the mini pack. The mini pack was made of a pliable material that was able to stretch to a great extent on the inside while remaining small on the inside. However, they had been recalled by the council because they allowed for easy smuggling. That did not mean, however, that Foaly did not keep an emergency assortment of these handy at all times, which was how Holly had one now.

As Artemis placed it on the table, Holly grew slightly apprehensive. What was the Mudboy planning?

"Now, observe, Captain. And I permit you to gaze in awe once the demonstration is over," said Artemis.

He then backed away a good 3 yards from the table and gazed at the jar, concentrating.

"This had to be absolutely perfect. No room for trial and error now," thought Artemis.

He raised his eyebrow, not breaking eye contact with the jar. And…the lid came off!

With a slight shake of his head, the floating lid moved away from above the jar and descended onto the table.

Turning to look at Holly, he couldn't help grinning conceitedly; the look on her face was priceless!

"Y-you…just…," she seemed at loss for words.

"I think," began Holly, again, very slowly. "I need to sit down."

"Of course," said Artemis, generously pulling up a chair.

After Holly had had time to compose herself, she began badgering Artemis with questions.

Such as, "Whenhadhestarteddealinginmag ic? Andsincewhendidhumanshavemag ic? Andhowlonghadthisbeengoingon exactly? Andwhyhadhenottoldanyoneunti lnow? AND FOR THE LOVE OF ST. PETER, COULD HE STOP LOOKING SO SMUG FOR JUST A MOMENT AND EXPLAIN!"

"Calm yourself, Holly," began Artemis, only to be given such a murderous look from Holly that he rushed to continue. "Your alarm is completely natural. I have just overturned centuries of magical law. But then most of my ventures are normally outside this metaphorical realm of a 'Law'."

"Yes, but Artemis, I think even Foaly will agree this is going a bit too far," Holly managed to say.

"Not really, seeing as it was an honest mistake," said Artemis smoothly.

"Far too smoothly for someone who had just disrupted the delicate balance of magical law," thought Holly.

"After gaining my conscious back from eternity, I discovered that something in the balance of my equation had gone awry. You see, Holly," continued Artemis in a maddeningly cool manner, "The negative that I had thought to leave in theory had been entered in practice which, as I presumed it would, had the most interesting of results."

Having regained somewhat of her composure, Holly was able to reply in a pretty well concealed frustration.

"Well, as 'interesting' as they may be I beg to differ," said Holly, her tone dripping with sarcasm.


End file.
